I don't know about you, but whenever I go to see the doctor for something as common as the sniffles or a sore throat, they automatically assume I've been sucking dick. It's bad enough having to come out, let alone come out to a complete stranger who's in charge of monitoring your health, but it's even worse when your doctor tries to diagnose you as a whore.
There have been a few times I've gone to see the doctor about a bad sore throat or a sinus infection. A simple prescription will take care of the problem, but the doctors that know I'm gay will jump right into asking me about my sex life. Sometimes as far as how many sexual partners I'm involved with or if I swallow. The doctors I have not come out to will ask typical, generic medical questions, such as "are you currently on any prescribed medications." Now, why is that?
Are gay men so vile and disgusting that we have our own set of prerequisite medical questions? DAMN. Can't I just have a cold? Why do I have to be sucking all this dick?
Don't get me wrong, I can be a bad boy at times, but God damn it -- I'm very responsible with who I sexually get involved with! I'm not a chronic dick sucker for Christ's sake and hearing things like gonorrhea, syphilis or chlamydia is really frightening, especially when I'm not fucking around... I get sick, like every human being does. What does sucking dick have to do with a runny nose anyway?!
Please tell me I'm not alone here.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
THINK: Feminism is Too Black and White
I know I haven't written in a while. Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm not dead. I've been swamped with freelance projects and job hunting, but I decided to make some time for a new blog post.
Sometime last week, a group of feminists were selling baked goods. None of their stuff looked appetizing to me at all, so I opted out, but a couple of my friends went for the soggy cup cakes.
When I saw that they were charging men $1.00 and women $.75 for the same item, I became slightly irritated. I understood why they were charging men more and was quite impressed at first. Statistically speaking, men make more money than women do, so they scaled up their prices accordingly. However, as I thought more about it, I felt like they were generalizing.
What would they charge someone who doesn't fit society's gender standards? What about someone who is transgendered or gay? Or, someone who's of a different ethnic background?
Let's call it for what it is: there are many, many other classes of people who don't have equal privileges. It's not just about man/woman. Because of that huge gap in their feminist campaign, I really felt like saying something to them as a black man (and a gay one at that), but I kept my mouth shut.
Although I'm not completely out of the closet at work, I know for a fact that racial oppression affects my salary (among other things). How? I have a larger skill set (less experience) than the next guy, but I don't get nearly as much respect or compensation. With that being said, don't I have the right to a price break?
Not to mention, with the cupcakes and brownies these girls were selling, it seems to me like they were contradicting themselves. The last thing a feminist wants to be seen as is a kitchen-bound wench.
Just something to think about.
Sometime last week, a group of feminists were selling baked goods. None of their stuff looked appetizing to me at all, so I opted out, but a couple of my friends went for the soggy cup cakes.
When I saw that they were charging men $1.00 and women $.75 for the same item, I became slightly irritated. I understood why they were charging men more and was quite impressed at first. Statistically speaking, men make more money than women do, so they scaled up their prices accordingly. However, as I thought more about it, I felt like they were generalizing.
What would they charge someone who doesn't fit society's gender standards? What about someone who is transgendered or gay? Or, someone who's of a different ethnic background?
Let's call it for what it is: there are many, many other classes of people who don't have equal privileges. It's not just about man/woman. Because of that huge gap in their feminist campaign, I really felt like saying something to them as a black man (and a gay one at that), but I kept my mouth shut.
Although I'm not completely out of the closet at work, I know for a fact that racial oppression affects my salary (among other things). How? I have a larger skill set (less experience) than the next guy, but I don't get nearly as much respect or compensation. With that being said, don't I have the right to a price break?
Not to mention, with the cupcakes and brownies these girls were selling, it seems to me like they were contradicting themselves. The last thing a feminist wants to be seen as is a kitchen-bound wench.
Just something to think about.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
STORY: Nut from the Past
Holy shit, I cannot believe my eyes. I'm sitting here watching "Kitchen Knightmares," a reality show about failing restaurants which world-renown chef Gordon Ramsey tries to rescue, and one of the waiters looks VERY familiar. In a candid interview, the name "Phillip" pops up on the screen and then I began to realize who he was.
Quite a few years back -- I was either fresh out of college or finishing up my senior year (I really can't remember) -- Phillip and I met through one of those obscure dating sites. We spent many nights chatting online and a couple of times talking on the phone.
He was a few years younger than me and was planning on starting college in New York City if he wasn't already a semester or two in. He should have graduated by now, not that I really care, but I find the coincidence kinda funny.
While he carried himself very well on the show, the last I can remember of this guy is that he was a total loon and I mean a LOON. I should have known from his voice mail recording... Instead of there being the expected "leave a message after the beep," there was an obnoxiously loud recording of monkeys scrrreaming. Who does that?
Anyway, things hit the wall real fast when I realized how odd it was that he refused to call me after 7 or 8pm. It had nothing to do with his phone plan or his minutes. Allegedly, he was "afraid of the phone." If I called him when it was dark, he wouldn't pick up.
Weeiirrrdoooo! Control, alt, delete on THAT one!
Quite a few years back -- I was either fresh out of college or finishing up my senior year (I really can't remember) -- Phillip and I met through one of those obscure dating sites. We spent many nights chatting online and a couple of times talking on the phone.
He was a few years younger than me and was planning on starting college in New York City if he wasn't already a semester or two in. He should have graduated by now, not that I really care, but I find the coincidence kinda funny.
While he carried himself very well on the show, the last I can remember of this guy is that he was a total loon and I mean a LOON. I should have known from his voice mail recording... Instead of there being the expected "leave a message after the beep," there was an obnoxiously loud recording of monkeys scrrreaming. Who does that?
Anyway, things hit the wall real fast when I realized how odd it was that he refused to call me after 7 or 8pm. It had nothing to do with his phone plan or his minutes. Allegedly, he was "afraid of the phone." If I called him when it was dark, he wouldn't pick up.
Weeiirrrdoooo! Control, alt, delete on THAT one!
Monday, September 22, 2008
NEWS: Featured on Hunk Du Jour blog
I spend a lot of time candidly talking about personal experiences and other people, but I was approached by Hunk Du Jour (www.hunkdujour.com) a couple of weeks ago for an interview. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Hunk Du Jour, it is a daily blog that contains photos, interviews and profiles of "noteworthy" men.
I didn't know what to think at first -- never in a million years would I have thought of myself as being "noteworthy" (in the grand scheme of things). I figured I had nothing to lose, so I answered a series of their questions and the full interview was posted earlier today.
Special thanks to the Hunk Du Jour team for choosing me out of the millions of better looking guys out there.
You can read my interview "Reality Connoisseur," at www.hunkdujour.com/blog/archives/2008/09/brandon_aka_redlantern_reality.asp or check out the rest of Hunk Du Jour at www.hunkdujour.com.
DListers may leave comments under my Hunk Du Jour photo.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
WTF?: HIV Wake-Up Call
An article, entitled "CDC: Blacks, gays at high risk for HIV infections," was posted on CNN today with the latest HIV infection statistics. According to studies made by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, young black males men, black females and white gay males, between 30-40, are much more likely to be infected with HIV than any other groups in the United States.
The article also reports more CDCP statistics, one of which shows that "53 percent of the estimated 56,000 cases of new HIV infections in 2006 were among gay and bisexual men, and 46 percent of the infections occurred among blacks."
If that's not a wake up call, I don't know what is.
"White gay and bisexual men account for close to half of HIV incidences," the article states. "Based on incidence estimates released last month, we already know that African Americans overall accounted for 45 percent of new HIV infections in 2006, while representing only 12 percent of the U.S. population," said Richard Wolitski, acting director, Division of HIV/AIDS Prevention at CDC.
If you didn't catch that, half of the estimated HIV infections are among gay and bi men in general. Half of that is among Black Americans. I'm not good at math, but I think that means Black Americans account for one quarter of HIV/AIDS infections.
The two constituencies of gay/bisexual men and Black Americans make up a small percentage of the population, yet the infection rates are through the roof. These figures are real, but they don't necessarily account for unreported cases. Even then, the estimated HIV infections were much, much worse than experts anticipated.
I write this blog to get people to wake the fuck up. While some of these cases are due to a lack of health care, education and access to prevention methods, we must also look at our behavior.
Ask yourself how many men you've slept with in the past two years. Ask yourself if you use protection. Then, ask yourself if you truly trust your boyfriend. I will be doing the same.
Read more here: CDC: Blacks, gays at high risk for HIV infections
The article also reports more CDCP statistics, one of which shows that "53 percent of the estimated 56,000 cases of new HIV infections in 2006 were among gay and bisexual men, and 46 percent of the infections occurred among blacks."
If that's not a wake up call, I don't know what is.
"White gay and bisexual men account for close to half of HIV incidences," the article states. "Based on incidence estimates released last month, we already know that African Americans overall accounted for 45 percent of new HIV infections in 2006, while representing only 12 percent of the U.S. population," said Richard Wolitski, acting director, Division of HIV/AIDS Prevention at CDC.
If you didn't catch that, half of the estimated HIV infections are among gay and bi men in general. Half of that is among Black Americans. I'm not good at math, but I think that means Black Americans account for one quarter of HIV/AIDS infections.
The two constituencies of gay/bisexual men and Black Americans make up a small percentage of the population, yet the infection rates are through the roof. These figures are real, but they don't necessarily account for unreported cases. Even then, the estimated HIV infections were much, much worse than experts anticipated.
I write this blog to get people to wake the fuck up. While some of these cases are due to a lack of health care, education and access to prevention methods, we must also look at our behavior.
Ask yourself how many men you've slept with in the past two years. Ask yourself if you use protection. Then, ask yourself if you truly trust your boyfriend. I will be doing the same.
Read more here: CDC: Blacks, gays at high risk for HIV infections
Saturday, September 13, 2008
HATE MAIL! Vol. 1
Let's face it. I can be stubborn, glib and opinionated at times, but that's just part of the deal. I ain't perfect -- this I know -- but I will make NO apologies for not being pristine. Because I put myself out there so boldly, I often receive unsolicited hate mail from time to time.
This message in particular is a good example of why I (a) don't have many gay friends and (b) have a higher divorce rate than Hollywood.
I received this message from a random Adam4Adam user, who send me a two messages in a row reacting to what I wrote in my profile. What I have written there isn't much different than what I have on DList.
ADAM4ADAM USER:
"pah leeeeeeeze stop thinking yu dah bomb ;;;cause yur not;;;;;;;;;;;;tha bum yes;;;; tha bomb ----nope"
MY RESPONSE:
"What the fuck are you talking about, asshole? I never proclaimed I was 'tha bomb.'"
At this point, I realized he sent me another message:
ADAM4ADAM USER:
"yu look like u just came from the nearest shelter;;;take yo dirty nasty trashy ass back to tha shelter;; yu cum here putting down yo gibberish;;yu lucky if yu can find a dog that will like yo butt crack niggah;;;stop trying to disrespect peeps here;;old is not bad;yur young and look at yu yur busted like a roll of butter bisquicks"
MY RESPONSE:
"First of all, douche-bag, I never ONCE said old was 'bad.' I said it's not what I'm looking for, so don't get all high and mighty and put words in my mouth, cause I'll spit it right back at ya. At least I was up front.
Second of all, regardless of what my preferences are, I wouldn't go for you ANYWAY. You can barely speak properly -- let alone type -- and for the record, I don't like having my ass licked anyway, so get your facts straight.
Lastly, fuck off and get a life. You're obviously ghetto, bitter and mean-spirited, which means your age isn't the problem here. You are far from being a real 'man' and you lack class. Way to go, asshole."
Normally, I ignore these kinds of messages, but I felt the need to respond to this particular one for several reasons:
1. He needed to know who he was messing with.
2. He needed a crash course in semantics.
3. Even though I stooped to his level, he needed to be taught how to debate like an intelligent human being.
4. He needed to be shown that his age was irrelevant after he displayed his fucked-up attitude.
5. I might have a smaller stature than him, but that doesn't mean I won't set him straight so hard, he'll forget he was gay.
I mean, come on. Did he really think he was gonna hurt me?
If you'd like to send me hate mail, e-mail chinatownchaos@gmail.com.
This message in particular is a good example of why I (a) don't have many gay friends and (b) have a higher divorce rate than Hollywood.
I received this message from a random Adam4Adam user, who send me a two messages in a row reacting to what I wrote in my profile. What I have written there isn't much different than what I have on DList.
ADAM4ADAM USER:
"pah leeeeeeeze stop thinking yu dah bomb ;;;cause yur not;;;;;;;;;;;;tha bum yes;;;; tha bomb ----nope"
MY RESPONSE:
"What the fuck are you talking about, asshole? I never proclaimed I was 'tha bomb.'"
At this point, I realized he sent me another message:
ADAM4ADAM USER:
"yu look like u just came from the nearest shelter;;;take yo dirty nasty trashy ass back to tha shelter;; yu cum here putting down yo gibberish;;yu lucky if yu can find a dog that will like yo butt crack niggah;;;stop trying to disrespect peeps here;;old is not bad;yur young and look at yu yur busted like a roll of butter bisquicks"
MY RESPONSE:
"First of all, douche-bag, I never ONCE said old was 'bad.' I said it's not what I'm looking for, so don't get all high and mighty and put words in my mouth, cause I'll spit it right back at ya. At least I was up front.
Second of all, regardless of what my preferences are, I wouldn't go for you ANYWAY. You can barely speak properly -- let alone type -- and for the record, I don't like having my ass licked anyway, so get your facts straight.
Lastly, fuck off and get a life. You're obviously ghetto, bitter and mean-spirited, which means your age isn't the problem here. You are far from being a real 'man' and you lack class. Way to go, asshole."
Normally, I ignore these kinds of messages, but I felt the need to respond to this particular one for several reasons:
1. He needed to know who he was messing with.
2. He needed a crash course in semantics.
3. Even though I stooped to his level, he needed to be taught how to debate like an intelligent human being.
4. He needed to be shown that his age was irrelevant after he displayed his fucked-up attitude.
5. I might have a smaller stature than him, but that doesn't mean I won't set him straight so hard, he'll forget he was gay.
I mean, come on. Did he really think he was gonna hurt me?
If you'd like to send me hate mail, e-mail chinatownchaos@gmail.com.
Friday, September 5, 2008
THE BIG O: Poppers
WARNING: SOAPBOX OPINION. This is a matter of raw thought and opinion. What you choose to do in your bedroom is your own business as what I do in mine is my business. Please be advised.
Poppers. What the fuck are they? "Poppers" are various forms of alkyl nitrites, which are used for sexual and recreational purposes through direct inhalation. The nitrates apparently relax the body's muscles, including the sphincter muscles of the anus, and cause the blood vessels to dilate.
When blood vessels dilate, blood pressure drops, but the heart rate increases and blood rushes to the brain. This creates an rushing effect of heat and excitement, which is said to enhance sexual pleasure.
I have never tried poppers nor do I plan to, so I can't comment on whether they're effective or not, but I can tell you that I cannot think of a more unsexy thing to do in the bedroom. Really.
In the heat of the moment, while taking our clothes off, opening the condom package and lubing up, the LAST thing I want to do is wait for a guy to unscrew a black cap to a small brown bottle, block one of his nasal passages and inhale like Lindsay Lohan at Club Whore.
First of all, I take poppers as a slap to the face. I don't know about you, but if I'm not good enough to bring upon an exhilarating sexual experience, what's the point in doing anything at all? Light some candles. Buy some massage oil. Try some foreplay. Shouldn't that work?
Maybe not. If you ask me, poppers are the cure for the male erection and they're SUCH a daddy/bear thing to do. Ew!
If we're cuddling while watching a movie, do I REALLY want his bottle of poppers is poking me in the side? Not cute. If I cut my finger and go into the medicine cabinet for a band aid, do I really want to deal with knocking over 6 bottles into the sink?
I think not.
If you're a frequent popper user, that's totally on you. I'm just letting you know what it looks like from the outside looking in, 'cause it looks like you're snorting coke. And the red rim it leaves around your flared nostrils isn't necessarily sexy either.
So, before you pull out the brown bottle to dilate your asshole, veins and eye pupils, think about the reverse effect it's having on your partner!
Poppers. What the fuck are they? "Poppers" are various forms of alkyl nitrites, which are used for sexual and recreational purposes through direct inhalation. The nitrates apparently relax the body's muscles, including the sphincter muscles of the anus, and cause the blood vessels to dilate.
When blood vessels dilate, blood pressure drops, but the heart rate increases and blood rushes to the brain. This creates an rushing effect of heat and excitement, which is said to enhance sexual pleasure.
I have never tried poppers nor do I plan to, so I can't comment on whether they're effective or not, but I can tell you that I cannot think of a more unsexy thing to do in the bedroom. Really.
In the heat of the moment, while taking our clothes off, opening the condom package and lubing up, the LAST thing I want to do is wait for a guy to unscrew a black cap to a small brown bottle, block one of his nasal passages and inhale like Lindsay Lohan at Club Whore.
First of all, I take poppers as a slap to the face. I don't know about you, but if I'm not good enough to bring upon an exhilarating sexual experience, what's the point in doing anything at all? Light some candles. Buy some massage oil. Try some foreplay. Shouldn't that work?
Maybe not. If you ask me, poppers are the cure for the male erection and they're SUCH a daddy/bear thing to do. Ew!
If we're cuddling while watching a movie, do I REALLY want his bottle of poppers is poking me in the side? Not cute. If I cut my finger and go into the medicine cabinet for a band aid, do I really want to deal with knocking over 6 bottles into the sink?
I think not.
If you're a frequent popper user, that's totally on you. I'm just letting you know what it looks like from the outside looking in, 'cause it looks like you're snorting coke. And the red rim it leaves around your flared nostrils isn't necessarily sexy either.
So, before you pull out the brown bottle to dilate your asshole, veins and eye pupils, think about the reverse effect it's having on your partner!
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