HATE MAIL! Vol. 1

Let's face it. I can be stubborn, glib and opinionated at times, but that's just part of the deal. I ain't perfect -- this I know -- but I will make NO apologies for not being pristine. Because I put myself out there so boldly, I often receive unsolicited hate mail from time to time.

This message in particular is a good example of why I (a) don't have many gay friends and (b) have a higher divorce rate than Hollywood.

I received this message from a random Adam4Adam user, who send me a two messages in a row reacting to what I wrote in my profile. What I have written there isn't much different than what I have on DList.

ADAM4ADAM USER:
"pah leeeeeeeze stop thinking yu dah bomb ;;;cause yur not;;;;;;;;;;;;tha bum yes;;;; tha bomb ----nope"

MY RESPONSE:
"What the fuck are you talking about, asshole? I never proclaimed I was 'tha bomb.'"

At this point, I realized he sent me another message:

ADAM4ADAM USER:
"yu look like u just came from the nearest shelter;;;take yo dirty nasty trashy ass back to tha shelter;; yu cum here putting down yo gibberish;;yu lucky if yu can find a dog that will like yo butt crack niggah;;;stop trying to disrespect peeps here;;old is not bad;yur young and look at yu yur busted like a roll of butter bisquicks"

MY RESPONSE:
"First of all, douche-bag, I never ONCE said old was 'bad.' I said it's not what I'm looking for, so don't get all high and mighty and put words in my mouth, cause I'll spit it right back at ya. At least I was up front.

Second of all, regardless of what my preferences are, I wouldn't go for you ANYWAY. You can barely speak properly -- let alone type -- and for the record, I don't like having my ass licked anyway, so get your facts straight.

Lastly, fuck off and get a life. You're obviously ghetto, bitter and mean-spirited, which means your age isn't the problem here. You are far from being a real 'man' and you lack class. Way to go, asshole."

Normally, I ignore these kinds of messages, but I felt the need to respond to this particular one for several reasons:
1. He needed to know who he was messing with.
2. He needed a crash course in semantics.
3. Even though I stooped to his level, he needed to be taught how to debate like an intelligent human being.
4. He needed to be shown that his age was irrelevant after he displayed his fucked-up attitude.
5. I might have a smaller stature than him, but that doesn't mean I won't set him straight so hard, he'll forget he was gay.

I mean, come on. Did he really think he was gonna hurt me?

If you'd like to send me hate mail, e-mail chinatownchaos@gmail.com.